writing my scars

I fell hard last night. 

You may think my eyes are weak but no I didn't cry. I didn't cry when my great grandma died. Nor did I when the whole theatre laid sobbing with hazel grace in her bed. I didn't cry when she yelled at me in front of my friends. I couldn't get myself to cry for the cop so he would see I was human. &humans sometimes make stupid mistakes. (i really don't like to talk about stuff like this) I promise you officer I am human. I cried when my crush called me fat. We were only ten but my scar is permanent. I'm reminded of it every morning when I look in the mirror. There it is, sitting on my hips. Laughing at me just like he did. It still makes me cry. Officer I cried when I heard the news. I missed 2 whole class periods sitting by that pond. If those ducks could talk they would tell you. I cried when she kissed him. I cried when she wasn't excited for me. I cried because I was oblivious and never raised my hand in class. I cried when I passed up the tango. I cried in front of my teacher once please sir you can ask her. One time I cried so hard because they made me laugh. That's usually most of the time but the point is, I am human. 

I know I'm human because I get bumps and bruises. I have to use a smartphone to think. &I sometimes have to go off treats. I know I'm human because I'm self conscious in skirts. I can't blow my nose in front of a crowd &I scribble when I yell at my paper. 

(I've used this human talk with cops many times before and I learned it never works. being human is an excuse and knowing that makes me one I guess.)

thank you officer. 
won't do it again. 
have a good night.