I don't remember

it's frustrating to look at the three pages i have in front of me filled of "i remembers" and

 have a journal next to me opened to May 13, 2009 that says 

BEST DAY EVER.

because that's all it says.

and i don't remember why. 

i don't know why.

because thats all it says. 

i love all the memories i've kept but where did the rest go? 

and why did i keep some and lose the others? 

why was May 13th the best day ever?

i don't remember.

i don't remember ever meeting my best friend.

i don't remember the first time i fell in love with chocolate milk. 

i'm guessing it was a cold night with movies and sippie cups but i don't remember.

i don't remember our old neighbors last name. the one with the big blue house

i don't remember my little brother being born or what i was doing before i was born.

 i hear of stories and i'm told i will one day remember but right now i don't.

i don't remember his middle name.

i don't remember the first car ride that we actually talked but i know it happened because we practically lived in that car. freak we almost died in that car. 

i don't remember what happened that night but i still stay up late at nights wondering how i can remember every sound and thought but not remember what actually happened.

i don't remember her birthday. actually i do but i don't want to because she doesn't remember mine. &my grandma doesn't remember either but i forgive her because she's sick. but sometimes aren't we all?

no matter how many times you tell me the story i don't remember you throwing snowballs at me. 

i don't remember where that jacket went. i see it in pictures too much and i want it back.

i don't remember how old my parents are i just know that they are getting too old.

i don't remember the first song i danced too.

i don't remember the first time i felt cold. or hurt. or cried.

i have a birth mark on my left ankle and i don't remember it ever being there before age 11. 

i don't remember when these sheets became so empty so fast. 

or when i fell asleep because last thing i remember was calling out your name just waiting for an "i love you" reply.

i don't remember what i was for halloween in second grade. 

it was literally life or death at the time but i don't remember my seventh grade locker combination. or ever practicing the violin. 

i don't remember how my fear of dogs started but i remember him laughing at me.

 i don't remember the score to my best game or anything i learned about credit score.

i don't remember what i ever saw in him or what kind of car old man Jenkins drove.

i don't remember. 

 i don't remember my best day ever.

i have a journal next to me opened to May 13, 2009 that says best day ever.

and i don't remember why.